Merry Schmuckin' Christmas!

WE AIN'T DEAD! No matter that News Blues goon Mike James says! Rather, we're on holiday - breaking bread with our extended families as we rest up for the calendar flip. Yes, we expect 2009 to be Year of the Schmuck! Freshly shackled defendants, disgraced politicians, hell - even Paula Abdul could come out swingin'! You've seen American Idol ... that lady's KRA-ZEEEEE! So while we figure out how to re-gift last year's fruitcake, know that we're planning breathless coverage of every. single. case. of camera-related fisticuffs reported in the free world. Meanwhile, check the archives and get off our backs if we got a little slack - we're only photogs, for schmuck's sake!

Schmuck Alert: What's Your Trip?

Those of us studying camera semantics are well versed in SDL (Sudden Lens Response). After all, we're working TV News photogs. We'll referee an Easter Egg Hunt, stalk a politician through Capitol City and follow the PO-leece up a crackhouse porch - all within the course of a single shift. So when we say we've seen every kind of reaction to an unexpected fancycam, we ain't just blowin' smoke. (I myself have been spat at by shackled Grandmothers, nearly rundown by an enraged eighteen wheeler and held up as a God by the delusional crooners of countless American Idol auditions.) Still, even we're flummoxed by the tizzy on display in the following clip...Call it 'The Apoplectic Spaz'... Or don't - see if we care!



It's not often blowhards like us are rendered speechless, but that almost did it. Anyone know the whole story behind this camera-hating maroon? Hmm? Oh yeah ... Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Hallway Hooligan!

Just when we thought all schmucks were taking a break for the holidays, this bonehead in a bad 'fro goes postal on a girl. That ain't cool...



It happened outside a Syracuse courtroom and though cameras didn't fully capture the felonious act, the schmuckery is unobstructed...

It was a raucous affair at the arraignment for Valdessa Johnson Thursday afternoon. While members of the media and onlookers were awaiting the finish of the proceedings, an apparent supporter of the victim, Yeisha Howard, attacked News 10 Now reporter Joleene Des Rosiers while she was operating a television camera and shooting video of the hearing.

Action News reporter Jim Kenyon and photojournalist Andy Wolf witnessed the attack. Kenyon reports that the assailant was taken into custody by court security and everyone else in court was escorted from the building. According to court security the alleged assailant is a minor and his name has not been released. The case has been turned over to the Syracuse Police Department.

Ms. Des Rosiers was injured in the attack and was taken to a local hospital for treatment. There is not yet any word on the extent of her injuries. The camera she was operating was damaged. Joleene is a former employee of Action News, having worked here previous to her stint at News 10 Now.

The attacker is underage, so perhaps we should't cancel his Christmas. Still, we're hoping Santa plants a boot up his ass come late December. Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Strike a Pose!

Much love to Editor-at-Large Mike James for hipping us to the latest case of young schmucks in love! We just wish the IT geeks at CBS 2 would provide a lttle embed code (Hey, we're trying to launch an empire here!). But enough about us, we now take you to the streets of New York...

The young man with the hot modeling career was striking a pose as he smoked a cigarette in a third-floor window when CBS 2 HD saw him on Tuesday night. Josh Walter, 19, is the younger guy in a relationship scandal that got a city school teacher fired.

Walter explained to CBS 2 HD in somewhat graphic terms that didn't want to talk about it.

His live-in girlfriend is 37-year-old Gina Salamino, a former second-grade teacher. They now have a child together and she wants her old job back. The strain clearly showed on the handsome young model as he got physical with CBS 2 HD cameramen.

"Leave me alone. Understand that? Leave me alone," he shouted as he crossed the street.

He then decided to get up close and personal with our hardware.

Walter was apparently upset at all the attention he's received over the last few days....

Upset? Dude, that's the kind of tabloid dreck that launches multi-million dollar careers these days! Smoldering good looks, a 37 year old paramour, TV crews in hot pursuit? You coulda wormed your way onto The Hills! Now however, you're nuthin' but a Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Oh, Canada!

From somewhere North of the border, a case so outlandish, so farcical, so SCHMUCKTACULAR it has to be clicked on repeatedly to be believed!

Okay, so it's an 18 month old clip from Toronto - but when the research team foundthis clip we blew our java chip Frappucino all over the Lenslinger Institute's command module! That's like a six dollar drink! Anyhoo, after a little wipe-up we decided a belated Schmuck Alert be issued immediately for the outraged optician who decided to go snowball on CityNews' Peter Silverman and his intrepid crew. We're not sure what passes for entertainment up there, but down here in the States, that's some damn good cinema. Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert - Playing Catch Up...

So Many Old Schmucks, so little time.

Luckily no photogs have been harrassed in the past few days...that or you...dear reader...are letting us down.



Anyway...going back a few months...the latest update from WCBS, New York on a dentist with Road Rage. This guy's fit over a parking spot in November, 2007 made him an internet sensation (that almost sounds like a good thing) and he even garnered Dr. Phil's attention -and who wants that?



Here's the video in Raw Form from You Tube...however I do recommend the WCBS links to their stories to see this guy justify his actions.



Back in April a judge said, No Deal, scheduling the dentist for a trial slated for June.



But in August Dr. Road Rage was offered a plea deal designed to allow him to only serve probation. He rejected it....and his lawyer quit on him because of it.

WCBS reports that "Court documents show the dentist has a long record of being charged with harrassment or assault, pleading the charge down to a violation, and walking free. "

Schmuck!

Man Down, Handbags Up!

One moment you're a cherished guest, the next you're a filthy leper. Call it the fallacy of the fancycam. Or don't - see if I care. Just know that when you go through life with a Sony on your shoulder, you're gonna spark a lot of different reactions - often within the course of a single shift. Just ask the cat who shot the video below. He (she?) was covering the annual dinner of the Federalist Society when the room went weird. It all started when US Attorney General Michael Mukasey took a dive midway through his speech, Gasps rang out, aides rushed to his side and the crowd turned on the cameraman. Schmuck Alert? Naaaah, those folks were most likely political underlings, hopped-up on hundred dollar chicken plates and no doubt rattled by their leader's sudden collapse...





So here's to you, Mrs. Pocketbook. While we here at The Lenslinger Institute find your attitude a bit pissy, we'll be good Southerners and cut you a little slack. No doubt by blocking that camera shot, you felt you were you doing your job. I'm guessing the photog you threatened with an assault charge felt much the same. But unless he (she??) was knocking over paramedics to get a tight shot of Mr. Mukasey, your reaction was - like the chicken breast you just polished off - a bit overdone. We all have our roles in life to play, lady. Try not to be so crabby about yours.

Tell your boss we hope he feels better...

VINTAGE Schmuck Alert - Is Wrestling Fake?

Tonight we set the Wayback Machine to 1984, for what may very well be the Uber-Schmuck:

It's a clip many have seen before, but in terms of sheer audacity, blonde mullets and unfortunate wrestler tights, it deserves another look. But first, let me ask you, "Is Wrestling Fake?"



Via Wikipedia...

On December 28, 1984, David Schultz' encounter with Stossel happened while Stossel was backstage at Madison Square Garden doing a story about professional wrestling's secrets. During an interview Stossel told Schults that he thought pro wrestling was fake and Schults' response was to slap Stossel twice, knocking him to the floor each time. The attack, which attracted a large amount of media coverage, was later aired on national television (as well as currently appearing on websites such as YouTube and Break.com) including ABC News which reported that the network had received more than 1,000 calls from viewers inquiring about Mr. Stossel's health.

Marvin Kohn, a deputy commissioner at the New York State Athletic Commission, had been present at the arena during the incident and immediately suspended Schultz for his actions. Although called by Commissioner Jose Torres to come to a hearing before the Commission, Kohn later reported that Schultz had written letter to the commission admitting "that he had acted improperly and apologized both to the commission and to Mr. Stossel" and further stated "I intend the commission to know that I did not intend to hurt John Stossel. I apologize to the commission and to John Stossel."

Stossel later claimed he was unaware of Schultz apology and would pursue his action in court although commented he would be "less likely to sue" if the aftereffects of his injury disappeared. [7] However, Stossel eventually filed a lawsuit against the World Wrestling Federation, and settled out of court for $425,000.[8]

Although he has consistently maintained that World Wrestling Federation officials told him to hit Stossel, Schultz was fired. Many industry insiders believe, it was not because of his actions against Stossel, rather, Schultz was fired for challenging Mr. T to a fight backstage at a WWF show at Madison Square Garden.

Challenging Mr. T? I Pity the Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert - School Superintendent!?!

First a School Cop goes off on a photographer in Oakland and now a School Superintendent.

The School Superintendent of Riverview Gardens near St.Louis pleaded guilty to tax evasion and fraud, reportedly shifting money from the school district coffers to his own.

And then on the way out of the courthouse he earned Schmuck Status.







TV Station KPLR reports, "Obviously angry at the barrage of questions he was being asked, the (former?)superintendent knocked the microphone from a reporter's hand."

In the video you can hear the superintendent tell the reporter "You shouldn't have put it in my face." to which the reporter replies, "Sir, you are a public official."


Touche!

The sentencing date for this Schmuck is in January. He could certainly face new charges for his Schmuckishness this day.

Schmuck Alert: Potty Mouth Cop!

Remind us to watch our elbows next time we're in Oakland! That seems to be all it takes to make the local School District Police Chief go postal! The cop in question is seen hurling invectives and otherwise being a total ass to Oakland Tribune photojournalist Jane Tyska. According to him, the female photog struck his patrol car with her elbow, setting off an on-camera tirade in which he curses her up (and down!), threatens to 'stuff her' in the back of his (fatally-crippled) cruiser and accuses her of trying to incite a riot. Hey occifer, how about a steaming hot cup of 'CHILL THE #&$@% OUT!'? I've seen calmer reactions at school bus collisions...



That clip's caused quite a ruckus in Oakland, with area bloggers, local watchdogs and newspaper editorialists weighing in on Officer Outrage's tour de force performance. We meanwhile are issuing a Class Five Schmuck Alert for the lunatic law-enforcer if for no other reason than he works around kids - and should know to act like he's got some damn sense. At least he proved he could 'work blue'. Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: OH. MY. GOD!!!

We've all been there (okay, just those of us with tripod hickies on various parts of our bodies), covering a structure fire when a relative, friend or neighborhood weirdo demands we leave immediately. AWK-WERD! I always feel bad for these people - for if they're sweatin' MY presence, it's usually just a case of redirected frustration. That said, I got every right to loiter with a lens - as long as I'm on public property. Good luck explaining that to someone watching their neighbor's/tenant's/babymama's house turn to cinders. Case in point: the following clip in which a rather scary lady demands media members leave her property, only to be walked off by an outstanding firefighter. All seems calmer until about 57 seconds in, when the lady goes momentarily mental...




Now go check out newzjunky.com for all the greasy details...

Schmuck Alert! - Lunacy in Louisville

Just hours after we launched schmuckalert.com, Rick Redding of The Ville Voice - THROWS THE SWITCH! We now take you to Louisville...

WDRB-TV will pursue charges against the East End auto dealer who attacked reporter Dick Irby and photographer Dave White while the newsmen were gathering footage of the dealer's property last week.

The confrontation makes for good video. The dealer attempts to throw the $50,000 camera to the ground, and at one point says he’ll pay for it after Irby tells him that if he touches it, he owns it. He comes off attempting to be a bully, but ultimately backs down.

Irby’s piece includes an interview with the city’s historic preservation expert, Richard Jett, which evokes some combativeness from Planning Director Charles Cash. It’s good TV.

Fox41 has posted the raw video of the attack. Great work by White in keeping the camera rolling while the attack occurred. Let’s hope a jury gets to see it someday and penalizes this nutjob.



Thanks for the heads-Up, Rick! A check ISN'T on the way...

LET'S LIGHT THIS CANDLE...

Ever since orb-hurling hothead Kenny "Not the Gambler" Rogers openly assailed a photog for reasons known only to himself, concerned cameramen everywhere rose up from the primodial news and formed the SCHMUCK ALERT JUSTICE LEAGUE!

For years, photog bloggers and other surly citizens have taken it upon themselves to issue Schmuck Alerts, public notices that someone's being a complete douche-bag in full view of professional camera crew. This in itself is not always a crime, but too often that mall cop, fresh felon, town founder or d-list debutante goes positively mental and assaults the aforementioned member of the media. Like Nancy Kerrigan said just after being whacked in the knee by Gillooly and his goons, "WWWWHHHHHYYYYY?!?!?!"

A-hem. Anyway, until now key members of the Fourth Estate have been issuing their Schmuck Alerts on their individual websites. No more! Now, with the establishment of this very site by the good folks at the Lenslinger Institute, schmucks everywhere have a place to come and hang their heads in shame. Remember, sports fans, that cat with the Sony on his shoulder ain't doin' it for his health, Most likely he (or she) has spent the day chasing cops, politicians, criminals and - EGADS! - television news reporters. Trust me, you'd be pissy too. So think twice before taking a swing! Chances are we won't fight back too hard, but we'll damn sure KEEP RECORDING....

After all, it's what we do.

Schmuck Alert: Sicko and the Shiv

Guest Contributor El Guapo on the madness out of Sacramento:

If you're a regular reader of b-roll message boards, you most certainly saw the latest news crew under attack. But this particular attack isn't your run of the mill Class 5 Schmuck Alert, which is why I'm not waiting for Lenslinger to lambaste the punk with some wicked prose.

This dude...

...is a violent maniac. He's a sex offender. And he doesn't deal with confrontation well.

And when he was approached by a couple of Sacramento news crews, he responded by brandishing a box cutter, and charging the media down. They retreated...he backed off...and soon after, cops cuffed and stuffed the fool for his violent threats.

Even though no one was physically injured, the level of threat posed in this confrontation seriously out weighs any previous attacks on the media. This wasn't some cop pushing a photog to the ground. This wasn't some security guard getting handsy-grabby with a photog. This wasn't some pansy civilian bitch slapping a reporter. These we not empty threats. The dude had a dangerous weapon, an unstable disposition, and a sharp gleam of psycho in his eye...

So...photog pals...be safe out there, and shoot with your left eye open. Because we all know that the desk mules and show stackers are going to keep sending crews onto the front porches of wackos, loonies, psychos, killers, dirty birds, and pederasts -- and the only person you can rely on to keep yourself safe in such a situation is...YOU!

The Video -

Schmuck Alert: Napa Valley Fracas

I'm reluctantly holding back on issuing a Class 5 Schmuck Alert on the Napa County Sheriff’s Department for one reason: a veteran reporter acts like a total dillweed on the now obligatory videotape. More on that later. For now, the facts: Shortly after KGO-TV's Wayne Freedman and Craig Southern arrived at the scene of a fire this afternoon, law enforcement officials rescinded their invitation. Trouble is, the news crew had no invitation. See, breaking news doesn't come with an RSVP; when newsworthy events occur in a free society, journalists can go anywhere (a private citizen can) in order to record, document and disseminate the details. It's a little thing we call Freedom of the Press and a bunch of guys in powdered wigs and knee socks thought it was important enough to include it in a seminal document two hundred and thirty some years ago. You'd think by now, the Napa County Sheriff's Department would had received the memo. Apparently not.

Of course, I wasn't on that California cliffside this afternoon. (I was interviewing a Russell Terrier in a surfboard sweater, if you must know.) Thus, I can only guess at what preceded the recorded take-down, the sequenced still shots, the reporter's account and the internet chatter now swirling around this temporary detainment. Taken as a whole, it's a multi-media conundrum that puts some product launches to shame. It's also a techicolor testament to the politics of spot news. Increased adrenaline, pack mentality, competitive paranoia and power grabs: these highly reactive factors are all in play when calamity, cops and camera crews and collide. As a reformed Southerner, I myself am probably a bit too passive by the flashing lights, but then again I've always found amannerly disposition and good ole boy slouch got me alot farther than screeching fits and attempted levitation. Still, it is hard to debate Constitutional Law with a guy trying to twist your arm behind your back.

Which brings me to my lone caveat. I have every reason to believe the Napa County Sheriff's Department was wrong in their detainment of KGO's camera crew - an assertion reinforced by the fact that both reporter and photog were soon released with no charges filed and little explanation given. But to the average viral video viewer, the guilt surely lies in the Fouth Estate. Why? As the footage begins, reporter Wayne Freedman is on the verge of apoplexy: screaming, squirming, demanding legal counsel. That's all well within this allegedly legendary journalist's rights, but methinks he'd be better off if, instead of behaving like Rick Flair on a ringside tear, he'd follow my folks wise advice and 'act like he had some smarts'. Perhaps then, these increasingly common clips of 'Cops Gone Caveman' wouldn't be so damned wince-inducing to watch. Just sayin'...

Schmuck Alert: Redneck Women

In what may be the most egregious attack on a news crew I've ever seen, three females from the lesser of the Carolinas have pushed Nick Curro out of the running for Schmuck(s) of the Year. It happened in Union, South Carolina when WSPA reporter Charmayne Brown and photojournalist Ti Barnes were among other news crews camped outside a fresh murder scene. Seems a Union man had (alledgedly) killed his grandfather over a dispute and when the media began showing up, Trina Vinson, Tousha Smith and Billie Taylor stopped watching Hee-Haw on DVD long enough to see what t'were the matter.

What they found were a couple of news crews set up on a public street, doling out the details of how 33-year-old Michael Shane Howell apparently killed the only sensible relative he had. This didn't sit well with them and when the news crews ignored their orders to level, the three white women went inbred on the nearest African-American reporter. Racial slurs followed as the trio pummelled reporter Charmayne Brown - despite the best effort of her photog to pull the rednecks off. When the melee was finally quieted, police arrived to arrest the three women, leaving the WSPA reporter bruised, battered and ready to press charges.

All joking aside, this is disturbing (as is the video). In the United States, news crews have the right to record and report the news from public property. It's that simple. Still, that doesn't stop peopel from threatening, cajoling and intimidating members of the media from doing their job; just ask anyone who's worked in the field for more than six months. Usually the words are hollow and offended family members do little more than curse under the breath at the interlopers out front. To see three grown women go medevial on a innocent reporter thoughboils my blood. Not only does it offend my journalistic sensibilities, but it really pisses me off when some rednecks show their ass and set race relations back 100 years.

Here's hoping Charmayne Brown heals quickly, scores some kind of settlement (from the NASCAR knick-knacks you know these hillbilly women got stashed somewhere) and realizes that all White Southerners are not the kind of bottom-feeding lowlifes these three women proved themselves to be. I say we the media cover EVERY INCH of their pending criminal proceedings until one of their beehive hair-do's explode. Schmucks!

Schmuck Alert: Whatever He Wants

A recent demonstration in Newark, New Jersey was apparently too peaceful for one local cop, who upped the ante by attacking the closest photog. Jim Quodomine of WCBS-TV was covering a rather placid gun violence protest when the above constable suddenly demanded he unhand his camera. An odd request on a public street, but before Quodomine could even decide how to react, the officer got all grabby, ripping the camera from the photog's grip and putting him in the obligatory chokehold. I've watched the video several times now and still can't figure out what triggered the policeman's sudden wrath. Perhaps he thought he was auditioning for the next Stephen Segal movie. That would help to explain the cheesy one-liner he dropped when reporter Christine Sloan told him he couldn't manhandle her cameraman.

"I can do whatever I want."

Ooooo-kay. How about ruining your good standing with all reasonable peeps by brazenly assaulting an innocent citizen? Or having your buffoonery showcased for all the world to see by the very device you're ripping from that man's shoulder? Is that within your jurisdiction as well, Officer Throttle? I hope so, 'cause you gonna be on the Tee-Vee! Luckily for us, a few grown-ups were on scene. Once they captured your actions with their trusty cell-phone cams, they stuck around to admonish you via the evening news. Ain't citizen journalism grand? How else would we know it's perilous to power up in certain parts of the Garden State? And here I thought New Jersey was a tax-paying territory of the United States. Hmmph. Just goes to show what a Southerner knows...

Enjoy your unpaid suspension. Hell, do whatever you want!

UPDATE: (via the ever crafty Horonto) ... Seems Officer Throttle ain't an occifer at all, but an individual 'specially trained' by the city who works security at churches and businesses and such. Back to the food court, Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Plenty to Go Around

Ya know, he had me ‘til the end. Jeffrey Weinsier had every right to stand on the sidewalk outside Miami Central Senior High School yesterday. There to cover a story on local school violence, he handled himself with reasonable aplomb when police arrived to kick him off a public sidewalk. That kind of thing doesn’t set well with the American press . See, we operate under the assumption the Constitution is still in full effect. When certain officers try to amend those rights by pushing us off public property while Sally Joe Housecoat roams freely, we feel obligated to object. That’s seemingly what happened when, after retreating across the street, Weinsier joked to his photog about getting arrested and walked back toward the school. The next thirty seconds or so are fairly predictable: officer insists reporter leaves, reporter refuses, oversized bracelets come into play. When word of the arrest came across my desk, I almost rubber stamped it with a regulation Schmuck Alert. Then I read about the .38.

A loaded .38, tucked into Weinsier’s waistband. Police found it when they searched the reporter - whereupon he rightly informed them he had a concealed weapon permit that allowed him to hide a gun on his person. Seems death threats from a restaurant investigation had convinced Weinsier to arm himself and he just happened to be packing heat when the law accosted him outside the school. Y-e-a-h-h…Look. I’ve no real beef with concealed weapons. It ain’t my tactic of choice, but members of my family embrace the practice. (Hopefully they’ll be visiting the day Bin Laden pops out of his spider hole.) Station attorneys are quick to point out ‘that a concealed weapons permit allows a firearm within a thousand feet of a school, but not inside a school and that Weinsier never went into the school.’ But why didn’t Weinsier stash his gat in his whip before loitering outside the school, or at least rethink his insistence on being arrested, knowing he was armed. Perhaps I’m just a parent with an aversion to weaponry - or maybe I’ve known too many reporters to trust any of them around my kids’ schools with a handgun…

Either way, I’m issuing a Schmuck Alert for the five county region. Blame the officers involved all-right, but don’t forget to include Jeffery Weisner - who probably just lost his invitation to come speak at graduation. Schmucks!

Coming Soon - Schmuck Alert! The Blog

Coming Soon....Lenslinger introduces Schmuck Alert! - The Blog dedicated to showcasing idiocracy at it's best when it comes to attacks on the media.