Sigh. You know, just because took a solemn vow to to spotlight camerabuse everywhere doesn't mean I enjoy it. Not when such bad reactions are reaching epidemic levels. Okay, it's still a little early to use the "E-Word", but at this rate 2011 may very well go down as The Year of the Schmuck. Case in point: the latest crime against innocent recording equipment, this time on the streets of San Francisco. Stanley Roberts was the operator in question. Since 2006 the burly journalist has earned the admiration and ire of viewers by turning his lens on people behaving badly in a series he calls People Behaving Badly. With the entire Bay Area at his disposal, Stanley's rarely ever at a loss for victims, er viewers, er violators. Such was the case just the other day when a gentleman took exception with the KRON-TV lens pointing his way. Soooo, 25 year old Israel Marron Castro did what any lucid bystander would do to escape notice. He shoved two ski poles into the rolling camera and babbled something about being high - 'cause Hey, that's how you lay low in San Francisco! Or not. Soon, however, a cameo on the news was the least of Castro's problem as cops moved in and determined he had outstanding warrants - not to mention fresh new charges of assault with a deadly weapon, vandalism, battery, and resisting arrest. As for Stanley, he's fine - though like one Chris "Call the Law" Weaver, he's still scratching his head a bit.
"I really thought the guy would back off but he just kept coming ... had I gotten hold of one of those ski poles I would probably have been put in jail!"
Why bother, Stanley, when such esteemed organizations as the Lenslinger Institute are around to watch your back. Now if you'll excuse us we have an important message for Mr. Israel Marron Castro.... "SCHMUCK!"
1 comment:
Anonymous
said...
First, gotta say: Sammy's delivery is pretty hilarious. Second, I'm guessing this is the first ski pole-attack on a photog in recorded history. It's certainly one for the books. Stanley will be telling this story the rest of his life.
"Always Be Rollin'..."That's what we teach 'em at The Lenslinger Institute. So whether you're a rent-a-cop, a shackled crackhead or just some bystander with a bad caffeine buzz, keep your meathooks to yourself. Or you could end upHEREwhere your lopsided drop-kicks and warbling cries of "Wolverine!" will echo long after we've wiped your bitter spittle off our lens. Don't say we didn't warn ya.....
The O.S. (Original Schmuck)
The first known Schmuck Alert was issued in June of 2005 for baseball's Kenny Rogers, orb-hurling hothead who for reasons known only to him and his hemorrhoids went mental on a hapless cameraman, incurring fines and launching a warning system. It is to him we dedicate this site. Schmuck!
After being drummed out of office, members of former Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney's posse assaulted members of a crowded press pack. The goon in question claimed the photog ’threw the camera at him’. Schmuck!
Schmucks on Parade!
Probing Schmuck Analysis
"At what point does stark news-crew buffoonery sully the perjorative qualities of the term 'Schmuck'? Surely not every collision of lens and extremity warrant such a verbal lashing - not whenheavily lacquered agitators ignore all decorum and leave their intended victims of their next deadline few options other than fisticuffs. Why, it's almost enough to rescind a few restraining orders around here. Almost."
Schmuck Supplicants
A Rare Case of Schmuck-Fu
Don't even think of pointing that fancycam at Colorado State blowhard Douglas Bruce! 'Specially when he's talkin' to the Lord! He'll swing a wing tip in your direction faster than you can say pass the plate. Holy Schmuck!
Skeevy D-Lister Andy Dick once attacked one of those trollop stalking photogs from TMZ. That almost makes it okay, Mr. Dick but we remember back when you were sorta kind of funny. Schmuck!
Read about a staggering fracas in the Twins Cities where news crews bumrush a school and the staff gets all grabby! Great! now we're gonna have to cancel the pep rally! Schmucks!
Care not to be featured here? Keep you glove meat off the glass! There's easily a half dozen ways to deal with a pesky news crew, but violence is never the answer. Remember, television news photographers spend their day with criminals, city leaders and TV reporters. We're already in a bad mood! Hell, I got buddies I'd rather punch in the teeth than touch their camera - let alone drag it off their shoulders while screaming "No Justice, No Peace!". So, do us all a favor: CHILL...
(NO Schmucks were harmed in the making of this blog.)
An Unrepentant Schmuck
Not sure what's worse: This guy's driving or his acting. YOU DECIDE! (Schmuck).
Sigh. You know, just because took a solemn vow to to spotlight camerabuse everywhere doesn't mean I enjoy it. Not when such bad reactions are reaching epidemic levels. Okay, it's still a little early to use the "E-Word", but at this rate 2011 may very well go down as The Year of the Schmuck. Case in point: the latest crime against innocent recording equipment, this time on the streets of San Francisco. Stanley Roberts was the operator in question. Since 2006 the burly journalist has earned the admiration and ire of viewers by turning his lens on people behaving badly in a series he calls People Behaving Badly. With the entire Bay Area at his disposal, Stanley's rarely ever at a loss for victims, er viewers, er violators. Such was the case just the other day when a gentleman took exception with the KRON-TV lens pointing his way. Soooo, 25 year old Israel Marron Castro did what any lucid bystander would do to escape notice. He shoved two ski poles into the rolling camera and babbled something about being high - 'cause Hey, that's how you lay low in San Francisco! Or not. Soon, however, a cameo on the news was the least of Castro's problem as cops moved in and determined he had outstanding warrants - not to mention fresh new charges of assault with a deadly weapon, vandalism, battery, and resisting arrest. As for Stanley, he's fine - though like one Chris "Call the Law" Weaver, he's still scratching his head a bit.
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1 comment:
First, gotta say: Sammy's delivery is pretty hilarious. Second, I'm guessing this is the first ski pole-attack on a photog in recorded history. It's certainly one for the books. Stanley will be telling this story the rest of his life.
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