Schmuck Alert: Heene Circus Ruckus

With the media circus camped out in front of Heene's house the roads are packed with News Cars, Live Trucks, Sat Trucks and bodies with Cameras moving to and fro gathering the footage that the housecats desire.

But that's no excuse for what happened today when a "neighbor" tried to get past the gaggle of media and jumped out bitchin' and moaning and groaning about the parked cars and pedestrians endangering HIM! Gimme a break!

With umpteen cameras rolling he decides to get out and challenge one of the news guys in front of the rest of the pack.

Another apparant news guy jumps the neighbor when the neigbor looks like he's getting ready to deck the first news guy. (It was quite the takedown - I give it a 10)

They went round and round, the 2nd news guy asked for others to help him out, but the neighbor got the upper hand, popping the news guy in the face a few times before they broke apart and got up.

One thing that bothers me about this scene is some of the audio in the video where some people are saying for people to stop filming the event. What?!

I can understand if they're just asking for people to help the guy out but it sounded like they wanted to not have footage of the news guy engaging the neigbor. Not a good idea.

Still, this neighbor acted like a jackass and is probably just doing it for the show!

Schmuck!






 

Schmuck Alert: Who's the Loser Now?

No one likes shooting weather video. It's rather boring, often intemperate and always inconvenient. But rarely do you have to worry about jackholes crawling out of the woodwork. Until now. KATU photographer Bob Bullock appeared to be minding his own business while his camera rolled on a rainy day outside Laurelhurst School in Southeast Portland, when a man approached him and came undone. First, Peter Fournier pressed his back against Bullock's camera, blocking its view. Then he accelerated his ire: cursing the hapless photog, calling him a "loser reporter" and finally, taking a few swipes. Video aired by KATU shows the ensuing struggle, including footage of Fournier manhandling the camera as well as some unfortunate off-screen 'sounds of distress'.

Reportedly, Peter Fournier was upset that Bullock was shooting video of children. It's unclear if he was, though the KATU photog was within his legal right to do so from his public property perch. Harrassing kids seems to a special concern of Fournier, as he's previously been excluded from Laurelhurst Park for using a stun gun on a minor. For his latest vigilante efforts, Fournier was arrested for assault, malicious mischief and impersonating an officer (having waved a badge, assumedly coated in cereal dust, at the KATU photog.) As for Bullock, he suffered cuts and bruises in the melee but now has a great cocktail party story to tell about the day 'that whackjob accosted him in the park'. The lesson here kids? Always Be Rollin'. You never when some delusional superhero is gonna pop out of the bushes and declare war on your lens...

Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Ma and Pa Crazy

Holy Hemorrhoid! I blow out of town for a few days and the nation's elderly goes bat-shit crazy! Isn't there a Stephen King book where old folks begins lopping off the heads of everyone under fifty? If not, there should be - for the maniacal glee displayed by a certain two seniors rivals anything dished out by a homicidal clown...

We begin in Florida, where two not so nervous news crews climbed the porch of a troubled teen's home with fancycams shouldered and rolling. But before either reporter in tow could ask the first vexing question, an aged woman in an even older housecoat appears, unleashing a brand of profanity that makes even an ex-sailor like myself tense up. If that weren't vulgar enough, the Granny then emerges with a freakin' hoe in hand. But she's not on her way to the garden! Rather, she's there to whup ass first and scrape dirt later. The ensuing moments have to be seen to be believed and while there's no excuse for violence, we at the Lenslinger Institute wince at the situation that sparked it. Simply put, on-camera door-knocks are dangerous, unneeded and generally suggested by those who never leave the newsroom. I've done it myself more times than I wish and while I've never had a grandmother try to cleave my head in two with a digging implement, I've imagined even worse as a door creaked open before me. End On-Camera Door-Knocks NOW!

Next we head North to Doylestown, Pennsylvania, where an idling pack of TV cameramen waited outside the sentencing of a woman accused of staging a fake abduction. Sure, it's lousy duty - but it's nothing any of us haven't done a hundred times before. Which is why it was so surprising when the father of the accused - no spring chicken himself - bursts from the courtroom and bum-rushes the awaiting scrum. First he clubs the nearest lenser with arthritic fury before turning on another photog who had the audacity to intervene. By then Gramps was operating on pure adrenaline and administers a rest-home beatdown once only seen on certain rap videos. It may have gone on forever (or at least until the old guy was winded) had it not been for the actions of photog number 3 - who manages to grapple the patriarch with his one free meat-hook. By then, others peel the old man off the Fourth Estate and he's soon shuffled away by a rather girlish deputy. AT press time, charges had yet to be pressed.

So what drove these seniors to act like savages? Is there a bad batch of Geritol going around Are there violent subliminal messages in all those Lawrence Welk reruns? Is it just built-up angst now that Bob Barker's stopped feeling up his lovelies every day at eleven? Ya got me - but one thing's for damn sure. I'm keeping a close eye on Granny the next time I'm forced to film a family reunion. Schmucks!

Schmuck Alert: Spit and Rinse!

Hey, what's worse than being stuck in a live truck with a gassy engineer? Getting SPIT ON down at the courthouse. That's what happened to WCBS photog Don Collins recently, when a man accused of practicing illegal dentistry dug deep and flung lung-butter on him. Now, I don't know how that plays in Jersey City, but down here in the South we consider that Justified Ass Whoopin' in the First Degree. Of course we're not advocating violence. We here at the Lenslinger Institute for Better Camera Management are far too droll (and cowardly) for that. We're just saying what a shame it would be if Dr. Spit and Rinse there woke up to find his New Jersey co-op flooded with the guts of the Port-A-Pottie fleet leftover from outside Neverland. Maybe then he'd learn to keep his felonious DNA to himself. Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Charlotte's Finest

NOTE: Apocalyptic weather notwithstanding, Team 'Slinger remains committed to exposing gross acts of grab-ass involving TV news cameras - if for no other reason to bring shame to that overpaid choad Kenny Rogers...

Dateline: Charlotte. A couple of TV News photogs from competing stations respond to the scene of a fatal accident, eventually finding a perch on a nearby embankment. Very soon two officers with the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department began ordering WBTV photographer Travis Washington to stop shooting. Washington, a credentialed news-gatherer on public property dared to question "WHY?" - a brazen move that brought about the full fury of one particular female officer. Demanding he stop recording, Officer Midol tried to wrestle the camera from Washington's hand, thus causing the delicate tool to drop unceremoniously to the ground. "You're not showing proper respect to people in the accident", admonished the constable before cuffing and stuffing the paid station employee in the back of her police cruiser. There Washington sat for about an hour, before being released without charges. He then sought treatment for a minor back injury related to the confrontation. The camera itself sustained about $1,000 in damage and WBTV plans to ask police to pay for those repairs.

To which we here at the Lenslinger Institute ask "WHAT THE F*DGE?" Police officers ARE in charge of emergency scenes; it's quite common (if not particularly legal) for them to corral photographers behind imaginary lines only they can see. In the Queen City however, law enforcers are also cinematographers, civil rights attorneys, judges and juries. When they attained this lofty status is still unclear, but we assume it happened to them shortly before city officials deemed them Omnipotent Overlords of the Fourth Estate. That looks damn spiffy on a business card, but it ain't worth the taxpayer provided paper it's printed on. And why did Channel 3's cameraman get manhandled while Channel 9's lenser was left alone enough to videotape the whole damn thing? And what's with this trend of shoving a pesky photog in the back of a cop car, only to release him (or her) 120 minutes later with no charges. If I pulled shit like that, I rightly be called a kidnapper, yet some Testicle with a basic law enforcement course under his (or her) gunbelt is free to rewrite the constitution on the spot. WTF?

Washington is on vacation this week. His station, Channel 3, is weighing their lack of options while the Charlotte -Mecklenburg Police Department launches an internal investigation. Channel 9 - which apparently has video of the whole enchilada - is sitting on their tape for the time being. I respect that, I guess; they could make great ratings hay of running that puppy on a loop throughout their every newscast. Still, a little sunshine's powerful disinfectant and releasing said outrage sure would make it easier on armchair pundits like the ones at Schmuck Alert Central. Speaking of which, we're surprisingly law and order around here. I know LOTS of cops and even more news photogs. With a few glaring exceptions, their all folks I'd have over for a bar-b-cue. At breaking news scenes, the attending press is about as thrilled to be there as the cops - who would no doubt prefer parking in clusters just off the interstate. That's cool - I just wish the men and women in blue would educate their junior colleagues a abit better, for far too often it's the rookie cop that loses his effin' mind when lenses gather on the edge of calamity. Seems they should cover the basic rights of the press at the Academy. Hell, I'd be willing to go hold a seminar, provided they' wouldn't go all Abu Ghraib on my tired ass.

Schmucks.

El Paso Schmuck

A News Crew at the ABC affiliate in El Paso was yelled at, ruffed up, handcuffed and detained while covering an accident in El Paso. Stand by for more information...but here's the raw video...


It's hard to know what set off this Texas lawman: his midday assignment, that glowing orb in the sky, the troublesome chafe of his polyester tunic. Whatever it was, it caused the veteran cop to lose his freakin' mind. Press PLAY on the video above and see a constable unglued... he jumps over a barrier, demands an ABC-7 news crew leave public property and eventually detains the two for boldly refusing to resist. I don't get it - and judging from the reaction of reporter Darren Hunt and photojournalist Ric Dupont - neither do they. That's probably because they're used to covering news in the U.S. of A., where members of the media can go where looky-loos do and flipped-over semi-trucks DON'T cause seemingly rational police sergeants to come out of their skin. Big ups to the the shinier badges at the El Paso Police Department; they released the unoffensive news crew minutes after Sergeant Neck-Vain hauled them into the Westside Regional Command Center. Thus, we exclude much of the law enforcement community down there in the Lone Star State when he level the following charge... Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Like a Rock

A camera was grabbed, so this technically qualifies as a Schmuck Alert, but I can't feel but so good about the lens-centered fisticuffs captured recently. A news crew had just arrived outside a Chevrolet dealership in Wayland, Michigan when they caught sight of some freshly fired employees knocking each other to the ground. It may be an unfortunate sign of the times, but whenever anybody is body-slammed on camera, an assignment editor get their wings. Thus, the intrepid news crew dug in on the perimeter and no doubt wondered if they'd be the next citizens tasting the sidewalk. They weren't, but the bruiser in the pink hat did come out and berate them while his buddy stuck his hands in the lens. People, people! How many times have we discussed this? In America members of the media CAN set up on public property and point their cameras just about anywhere. It may be a bit unsavory at times, but that whole 'freedom the press' thing really comes in handy when demonstrating democracy. No doubt there will be other businesses going under in this apocalyptic economy and sure as shootin' a news crew will scurry on over to get it all on tape. Wanna stay off the tee-vee when that happens? Don't shove your coworker into a trashcan in front of God or a photog! We tend to record those things and share them with the tri-county region. Now how's THAT going to look on your resumé? Schmucks...

Schmuck Alert: Run for the Border!

As proven by that friend of yours who can never hold his liquor, there's a Schmuck in every bunch. That includes law enforcement, where the efforts and rep of a whole department can be sullied by one cop with too much caffeine on board. Just ask Victor Castillo, an Action 4 News reporter who got cuffed and stuffed while covering a police pursuit in the Rio Grande Valley. Seems a drug investigation ended in a case of bent-sheet metal, creating the kind of scene you might watch on the evening news. That's when our man Victor rolled up with gear in tow and caught sight of cops unloading bundles of marijuana from the freshly-wrecked vehicle. Momentarily confused as to which side of the border he was on, Victor set up his camera on public property and did what a free member of the American media has every right to do: he quietly recorded the unfolding events from a reasonable distance. On its face it all seems pretty innocent, but Victor must have passed gas or made one too many doughnut jokes: for one officer took suddenly decided the Constitution wasn't a good enough reason to let some pesky news photog document the confiscation in question.

After exchanging less than pleasantries, the camera-toting Castillo backed off more than he really had to, but Office Bogart still didn't dig it - so he arrested the young interloper for committing television right there in front of God and everybody. Why the nerve! Anyway, knowing outrage when he saw it, the very angry cop placed the brazen photojournalist under arrest and charged him with interfering with public duties. Considering he was a good deal away from the action and surrounded by members of the public when he was arrested, Victor Castillo shouldn't have too much to worry about. For now though, he's still facing a Class B misdemeanor punishable up to six months in jail and a $2,000 fine - all for doing his job. What a country! Maybe someday all badge-wearing individuals will read the memo, brush up on the Fourth Estate or just get a freakin' clue! That way maybe we can avoid these predictable fits of testosterone. Until then, careful where you break out your camera; it just might win you a trip to the pokey. Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Here Comes the Boss!

Not since a certain nipple-slip has one celebrity body part so dominated the Superbowl Halftime Show. I'm talking about The Boss's ill-advised power slide, an impromptu knee-ride that ended with a violent manhump right there in front of God and everybody. Those who missed it can watch it here, just understand if I avert my gaze out of professional courtesy -- LOOK OUT! That canned bombast may fly down at the Stone Pony, muscles, but this here's the big time! Try and act like you been there before! That includes keeping your top on and your junk off the glass, ya know. Otherwise you'll have to slip all future residuals from 'The River' to the cameraman in question, lest his neck seize up from that face full of millionare mid-section. And while you're at it, drop by my rec room and pick-up all this popcorn I spilled; you nearly bowled me out of the beanbag...SCHMUCK!

Schmuck Alert: Unnecessary Cuffness

"Where the public can go, the cameras can too." You'd think they'd print that on a card or something, stick it in the breast pocket of every deputy, rent-a-cop and baliff in the contiguous U.S. Not so, it seems - for why else would an Atlanta City Hall authority go all Walking Tall on a hapless news crew and slap cuffs on 'em? It all started when CBS 46 News photographer Jeff Thorn and reporter Renee Starzyk were working on a water rates story at Atlanta's City Hall. If that wasn't punishment enough, Officer E.R. Murray - who'd just let the news crew in - decided they couldn't use the shiny fancycam they'd brought along with them. When Thorn and Starzyk refused to leave, Murray got all 'hall monitor' on the workaday duo. Grabbing at their camera, he placed the two men in handcuffs, before thoroughly confusing his superiors with this inexplicable decision. When the higher-ups realized they shackled news crew was guilty of nothing (but missing lunch), they popped the lock and apologized. "Here, have a blank check and a key to the city!", they did not add. Soon after, Thorn and Starzyk managed to escape, baffled, behind schedule, but beyond certain that the cat working the courthouse lobby on Fridays is an easily flustered Schmuck!

Schmuck Alert: Oakland Death Grip

Just when we thought the world was safe for photogs everywhere, some dolt in Oakland up and loses his mind. ABC 7 photographer Dean Smith (not the legendary college basketball coach...who's no schmuck himself) was covering - GASP! -a protest, when a person of some derangement snuck up from behind and tried to rip the fancycam off his shoulder. Egads! The plucky Smith took exception to stranger's plans, and submitted to a first class melon-thumping while holding the high-dollar videocamera in a West Coast death-grip. Video of the ensuing struggle has yet to surface, but here's an interview with the cut and bloodied photog, who'd liek to remind everyone they didn't get his rig... Attaboy, Deano - your bosses owe you big ... good luck with that. As for the would be auteur who failed to score any glass, get yer own...SCHMUCK!